Sunday, March 25, 2007

Original Sam Post from 2005

3-25-2004

Rialto man killed in motorcycle crash
FONTANA- A 20-year-old man was killed when he lost control of his motorcycle and crashed on the Interstate 10 early Thursday morning.

Samuel Sikes of Rialto was riding a Suzuki motorcycle on the I-10 east at 12:20 a.m. Thursday when he lost control of the bike and slammed into the center divider at the Cherry Avenue over crossing, according to the San Bernardino County Coroner's office. Paramedics responded and pronounced him dead at the scene.

The California Highway Patrol is investigating the incident.




A year ago today, I awoke to a phone call from my little sister at 4:30am, telling me about the above accident. Sam was our baby brother.

I had spoken to our mother the night before, and she was worried that he was "going to buy a motorcycle". He had just moved into his first "place of his own" with his girlfriend, and they were going to sell his car and he would ride a motorcycle to save some money. He was a very talented basketball player who had recently received 2 full-ride scholarship offers to large univerisities, and those were just the early ones. He was young, felt invincible, and had a lot of people who seemed to think he was a pretty nice guy. I was going to call him the next day and ask him about the bike and see if he wanted to go riding with me.

He had already bought the bike when I talked to mom the night before. His friend picked the bike up for him and brought it to his work later that night. I can list pages of things that he did wrong after that. Having ridden for so many years, I may not be a pro, but I know a thousand things that can go awry when riding a motorcycle. Everything from his gear (gloves and helmet only), to his helmet being too big for his head (it came off his head after he hit the ground, but before his head hit the bridge support...the strap was still strapped, and didn't break). He was not stunting or racing, just didn't know what he was doing, he thought he could handle it, and lost it on the freeway. Fortunately he didn't hurt anyone else.

Any of you that have gotten to know me over the past 8 months or so I've been on these boards know that I am not someone who whines or complains about much of anything. You also know I don't like getting attention about things like this. While a handful of people on here were already aware of this, I have only ever talked about it with either people who are very close friends, or when I think telling someone like Min's sister about my experience may be of some small benefit to them in some way. I've never hidden it, I just never sought to get a bunch of attention over it, and I don't want it now. But I know I am not the first person to lose someone close to me, nor will I be the last.

So now, I'm posting this for a couple of reasons. The riding "season" is just getting started this year, so perhaps I'm just trying to remind someone to ride within their limits, because while inevitable to some degree in the motorcycling community, many of us are very weary of attending funerals for friends, family and loved ones. I don't participate in any of the more "heated" debates on here, and do not intend to start. But I will just offer my perspective on my experiences, and you can take from it what you wish. Many of you know I have every-so-often fractured an occasional vehicle code statute, so I'm not pointing fingers at anyone for how you ride, even if it's not the way I ride.

When I see posts about police, particularly CHP, being the "bad-guys" out to target us poor, innocent sportbikers, I wonder if any of them have had to tell a mother that her son is never going to graduate college, and in fact never going to call home to tell her he misses her again, because he is dead and there is nothing that anyone in the world can do about it. Try doing that every day as a career. How "hardened" and cold would I have to be to do that, because somebody unfortunately has to do it. I'd rather you get a ticket and get to listen to you bitch about it than have to go to your funeral. But that's just me. I'm not saying all of thier behavior is acceptable or justified.

Perhaps when the CHP tickets us for riding way too fast down dangerous canyon roads with little to no room for error should we happen to make any one of the thousands of mistakes that are possible in each moment of riding at high levels, they are actually concerned, even if they don't show it in a way you are familiar with, because their experience is different. But yeah, they should make an exception for me and let me ride or drive however I wish, because I "know what I'm doing", right?

I wonder if you've ever seen a motorcyclist go down and be dead or dying when you got there. Many of us have, and you can find pictures all over the internet that are graphic and disgusting as an example, but they don't do it justice. My brother had to be identified based on his tatoos. I can't imagine what that has to be like to see that...EVERY DAY.

I know we're all too smart, "cool" and experienced for something to go wrong with us while we are riding the canyons at triple-digit speeds, making unsafe passes over the DY, or stunting in front of a big crowd where even the slightest error can take out ourselves and others, though.

If you think we are a bunch of sissies or trying to be your mommy when we tell you to be safe, and to not be a squid, then perhaps you can see that we just know how often riders can and do crash, even the experienced ones. Not everything is under our control, even if we know how to ride "really good". As a matter of fact, there are only a handful of things that are under our control, especially when compared to the infinite amount of things that are out of our control, but can affect our ride.

Maybe when I say to be safe, I just don't want your siblings to ever have to watch your mother sobbing so uncontrolably that even the hardened officer at the coroner's office wells up with tears and can't speak, because mom is trying to figure out if she doesn't sign the paperwork to pick up her youngest son's personal effects, maybe he won't "really" be dead.

When we go on a newbie ride or other group ride up the crest or some other place, and I volunteer to follow the "slow" group up the road, hopefully now you will stop apologizing for "holding me up", because you know that I don't want anyone to be left behind, and if someone does go down, they won't be alone to die without us even knowing it. I will go as slow as need be so you can learn safely at your comfort level, and know you won't be left alone if you have a problem of any kind. I can go fast whenever I want, but if we're together, then we're together, no matter how slow. I'm not trying to "save the world", but I'd rather the "inconvenience" of going slow so you can learn, than have to explain to your sister why I didn't even know you had gone down because you were too slow for me, and I wanted to practice hanging off at higher speeds with the extra ground clearance afforded by my new rearsets.

I am the last person to ever discourage anyone from riding. Even after this happened, it never occurred to me to give up riding. I rode to the funeral home in Fontana to make the arrangements for his remains and funeral, and then rode again to pick up his cremated remains, and I didn't even think not to until people started asking me if I was going to give up riding. I know some people stop riding for their own reasons, and I have no problem with that. It is a very personal decision, and it's up to each of us. I will ride as long as I am physically able to do so.

When I picked up Sam's Katana from the impound lot in Ontario, there were only 12.7 miles on the trip meter. Those are the only miles he got to ride this bike most of you have seen me ride. I have put 15000 miles on it since I finished putting it back together in June. I figure I'll get enough enjoyment out of it for the both of us, since he didn't get a chance to. Hopefully he's along for the ride.

Rico and a few other people have asked me if they could ride my bike, and I have declined. I hope you didn't take it personally. I'm not concerned about the bike getting binned up, and certainly don't question your abilities, but as Nate said last Thursday, it kind of has "sentimental value" to me. Not to say I won't let people ride it in the future, but as of now, only one person besides myself rides it and has ridden it since Sam died on it...that person knows the history, and is someone extraordinarily dear to me.

I don't know what I am going to do with the bike once I've ridden it "enough". But if I ride it until it falls apart, or just push it off a cliff (preferably without me on it!), that's fine with me. It's just a bike, and a Katana at that. If you've ever made a comment to me about the damaged plastics, and I was vague about how it happened, then now you know why. It tends to make people uncomfortable if I tell them my brother died riding it, especially when they've just said something stupid like "Whoa, looks like you fukked up here, dumbass!".

There is little room for error on a bike. He only made a simple one, wasn't being "reckless", and is dead because of it. I am pretty confident that I am well aware of the consequences of things going wrong on a motorcycle, and not just based solely upon this experience. But I have always had a passion for riding, and I do my best to be as safe as I can, weighing the consequences of everything I choose to do based on no scientific formula. I know what CAN happen, all too well. And I accept that.

If I should ever happen to die on a motorcycle, then so be it. No need to "mourn" me at all. I am not wishing for it, but my life has been very fulfilling, and I don't regret a moment of it.

I know what it is to have a true friend, and to be one.

I know what it is to know true joy, and I extract every bit of it from this world that I can.

I know what it is to Love another person so completely that the words to even the most romantic of songs or poems pale in comparison to the reality of it.

I've been blessed with much more than I ever would have had if I had chosen my life myself, and everything that happens from here on out is just a bonus.

Life is short. Don't take it for granted, because every moment is a gift. Make the call to tell someone what they mean to you today...don't wait until tomorrow. (And yes, I actually typed that, I didn't just cut & paste it out of a chain letter lol)

I can't bring my brother back unless I get ahold of that time machine on ebay. I believe something good can come out of everything, and I found this community when I was looking for parts for rebuilding this bike. People here have become some of my closest friends, and "family". Hopefully you now will have some small idea how truly I mean it when I say thank you all for being in my life this past year, and sharing yours with me. It truly has been an amazing experience, and I look forward to more. Some of you have been here through some less-than-perfect times. I Love you, and you know who you are.

I hope someone gets something beneficial from this, because I'm only partially writing this for my own reasons, and not because I want any attention, pity or sympathy from it...I really don't. I was encouraged by some to write something, and if I didn't see any slight way it might possibly help someone, I would just keep it to myself. And if it sounds dramatic in some way, it's only because I'm trying to get a message across, not because I care for the attention. I just try to make the best of everything I am given in life, and I have a great deal of serenity with this subject.

They say when life hands you lemons, make lemonade...well drinks are on me, today...have as many as you can stand.

You may say "I'm sorry for your loss", and I say "I'm sorry you didn't get the chance to know him".

I don't profess to know how the world works, or much of anything else. If I can ever help you in some way, even if we've never met, feel free to ask...that's just me. I don't tell people how to live their lives, so I'm not trying to be your mommy or daddy telling you not to have fun on your bikes at all. I'm simply offering my perspective. I don't want to have any flame wars here, please. I just hope it helps someone in some way. If you do not find this perspective useful in some way, I hope it was at least a good read.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Thanks,

-James

March 20, 2006
I wrote this last year, for really no other reason than I just felt like writing about it, a friend encouraged me to do so, and convinced me someone might enjoy reading it.  I just kind of spewed it out on the screen, didn't bother proof-reading it or editing it, though I may change a few things at this point.  The first italicized paragraphs are a newspaper article, the rest I wrote.  But a few friends and random people ended up posting it on at least 12 different message boards all over the internet.  I still find it posted in a new place every now and again.  I have only ever seen one guy say anything negative, and everyone else has said something positive about it, so I haven't changed a word of it.


March 25, 2007
Another year, and I still get messages from people that say it helped them think about being careful, appreciating life and other such stuff, so I keep bumping it each year.